Wee! Ok my first e-net journal! Well may I say that I am a crazy Star Wars fan and out of all of SW my fave thing will have to be of course Obi/Ani. Well Anakin in general but Obi/Ani something SO PERFECT. I was never in love with Slash stuff until they came along. Now here I am posting my first Obi/Ani slash fic. This one's all said and all...heehee!
Title: The Last Kata
Disclaimer: Nope I don't own them. George Lucas does. This is just fanfic so chill out.
Summary: Anakin doesn’t take rejection all too well.
Note: I’m very new in the world of slash so please bear with me! And drop a comment too…they tend to be helpful
I don’t think I have ever seen such a beautiful sunset. I don’t think the wind has ever been so soft. I don’t think I’ve ever been so cold inside. And the silence has never been so sickening.
I wonder if you will look for me. I doubt it.
I still remember your eyes. Grey, cold, reproachful. I wonder if maybe it was my imagination that had rendered them warm and blue. Because in that moment they were icy like the mounds of Hoth and grey like stormy skies.
Are you sure you’re an angel? I had once thought of you as my angel and I still think of you as one. But where your wings were once white as snow I now see that they are as black as the night. No not as the night…for even the night is broken by a sunrise. But there will be no sunrise. Your rejection of me is complete and there is no way of changing that.
I cried myself to sleep the other night because I knew that there was no way that I could emerge from this abyssal into which you had pushed me. Into which I had pushed myself by loving you.
Tell me, oh Perfect One, have you ever loved anyone? Have you ever wanted to hold onto some one and never let go? I worshiped you long before I loved you. I loved you long before I needed you. I needed you long before I lost you.
I know you will never be proud of me. I know you will never smile at me that ways again. You will never trust me again because I have broken your trust by loving you. Why do you fear me loving you? Is it because I challenge you to be something other then indifferent?
Oh I know you don’t hate me. Hate is not in your capacity. And in any case, hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is. And that is exactly what you are —indifferent. You never wanted me. And I was fool enough to believe that you might love me.
I balance on the railing of this rooftop looking over the Cruscant landscape in the majestic glow of the dieing sun.
In the distance I can see the spires of the Jedi temple rising above the other buildings. Proud, commanding, beautiful.
Without thinking I unclip my lightsaber from my belt and start a kata. Your favorite kata. The ledge I stand on is just wide enough for me to keep my footing. The Force is so quite tonight. The Force knows why I am here tonight but it will not stop me. It is quite, peaceful, calm, accepting.
Accepting of anyone and anything. But not of me. No, never me.
So this is it. The sun sinks below the horizon just as I enter the last line of the kata. I am in the zone. In that zone where nothing exists. Only me, the Force and my lightsaber.
My lightsaber. It will do the deed quite nicely. A proper ending for a Jedi don’t you think?
There moves left.
I here you call my name. “Anakin!”
But don’t you see it doesn’t matter. You’re too late, Obi-Wan. You’re one rejection too late. And I’m falling.
I don’t think I have ever seen such a beautiful sunset. I don’t think the wind has ever been so soft. I don’t think I’ve ever been so cold inside. And the silence has never been so welcome.