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4th of July [Jul. 4th, 2015|07:25 pm]

Happy 4th of July!

This will be my second Independence Day in the U.S. Doing basically the same thing as last year - going with dad to see the fireworks at the High School.

I realized two things re: that sentence.

1) A long enough time has gone by since high school that I'm starting to be nostalgic about it. Although, I suspect that what I'm really nostalgic about isn't so much much the school part or anything as just being a kid/teen. I'm perfectly aware that there were parts that really sucked and college was totally better. But there was a sense of...time, I guess. As in...feeling like your whole life is still ahead of you, that there is still time for everything. I mean, people will say that while you're in your 20s it's the same thing, but it's really not. People are working full time, getting married or are on an educational track leading to a very specific thing. Not everyone, but this is the overall picture. (College notwithstanding. That's beast of it's own).

2) There's something about saying "the high school" that is very characteristic of a small suburban town. In a big city you could never say that without specifying first. Because, which high school do you mean? There are like 3 million. And I've started to understand that there's something about small towns that I just really love. I'll never be able to live in one because I can't drive and you basically need a car to be able to live in one. But...there's something familiar and cozy about them. The sort of town which is large enough so that it's not like everyone knows everyone, but small enough to where you can say "the high school" and everyone knows which one. (Albeit, we won't be able to do that very soon. A new HS is opening up and I AM a bit resentful toward it...)

Sorry, guys. I've been a bit down lately...

[User Picture]From: evelyn_b
2015-07-06 08:19 am (UTC)
Weirdly (?), I always felt in high school that time was running out (because I thought I had to do certain things before a certain age, and because everything was presented to me as very time-sensitive and necessary). Even in my early 20s I had that feeling. Now that I'm older and haven't done any of the things I expected to have done by 25 or 30, I feel like I have all the time in the world.

It's an illusion, because I really don't! I'm just as mortal as ever. But all the pressure is gone.

I wish the US had a stronger public transportation network, so you could live in any kind of town without needing to drive. That used to be the case to some extent, and who knows? maybe it will be again someday.

:( sorry to hear you're feeling down.
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