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Obi/Ani obssesive! First slash fic! - alley_skywalker [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
alley_skywalker

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Obi/Ani obssesive! First slash fic! [Jun. 3rd, 2006|11:22 pm]
alley_skywalker
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Wee! Ok my first e-net journal! Well may I say that I am a crazy Star Wars fan and out of all of SW my fave thing will have to be of course Obi/Ani. Well Anakin in general but Obi/Ani something SO PERFECT. I was never in love with Slash stuff until they came along. Now here I am posting my first Obi/Ani slash fic. This one's all said and all...heehee!

Title: The Last Kata
Author: Alley_Skywalker
Genre: Angst
Paring: Obi/Ani
Disclaimer: Nope I don't own them. George Lucas does. This is just fanfic so chill out.
Summary: Anakin doesn’t take rejection all too well.
Note: I’m very new in the world of slash so please bear with me! And drop a comment too…they tend to be helpful

 

I don’t think I have ever seen such a beautiful sunset. I don’t think the wind has ever been so soft. I don’t think I’ve ever been so cold inside. And the silence has never been so sickening.

I wonder if you will look for me. I doubt it.

I still remember your eyes. Grey, cold, reproachful. I wonder if maybe it was my imagination that had rendered them warm and blue. Because in that moment they were icy like the mounds of Hoth and grey like stormy skies.

Are you sure you’re an angel? I had once thought of you as my angel and I still think of you as one. But where your wings were once white as snow I now see that they are as black as the night. No not as the night…for even the night is broken by a sunrise. But there will be no sunrise. Your rejection of me is complete and there is no way of changing that.

I cried myself to sleep the other night because I knew that there was no way that I could emerge from this abyssal into which you had pushed me. Into which I had pushed myself by loving you.

Tell me, oh Perfect One, have you ever loved anyone? Have you ever wanted to hold onto some one and never let go? I worshiped you long before I loved you. I loved you long before I needed you. I needed you long before I lost you.

I know you will never be proud of me. I know you will never smile at me that ways again. You will never trust me again because I have broken your trust by loving you. Why do you fear me loving you? Is it because I challenge you to be something other then indifferent?

Oh I know you don’t hate me. Hate is not in your capacity. And in any case, hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is. And that is exactly what you are —indifferent. You never wanted me. And I was fool enough to believe that you might love me.

I balance on the railing of this rooftop looking over the Cruscant landscape in the majestic glow of the dieing sun.

Dieing.

In the distance I can see the spires of the Jedi temple rising above the other buildings. Proud, commanding, beautiful.

Beautiful.

Without thinking I unclip my lightsaber from my belt and start a kata. Your favorite kata. The ledge I stand on is just wide enough for me to keep my footing. The Force is so quite tonight. The Force knows why I am here tonight but it will not stop me. It is quite, peaceful, calm, accepting.

Accepting.

Accepting of anyone and anything. But not of me. No, never me.

So this is it. The sun sinks below the horizon just as I enter the last line of the kata. I am in the zone. In that zone where nothing exists. Only me, the Force and my lightsaber.

My lightsaber. It will do the deed quite nicely. A proper ending for a Jedi don’t you think?

There moves left.

Two.

One.

I here you call my name. “Anakin!”

But don’t you see it doesn’t matter. You’re too late, Obi-Wan. You’re one rejection too late. And I’m falling.

I don’t think I have ever seen such a beautiful sunset. I don’t think the wind has ever been so soft. I don’t think I’ve ever been so cold inside. And the silence has never been so welcome.

 
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Comments:
From: masterglory
2006-11-12 09:04 am (UTC)
This is perfect for this raining day. Beautiful, sad hopeless story.

Welcome, baby
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[User Picture]From: alley_skywalker
2006-11-13 01:32 am (UTC)
Yes sad fics are great for rainy days aren't they?
Thanks for the comment and welcome :)
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[User Picture]From: ludagurl3d
2006-11-12 11:39 pm (UTC)
Alley!! it's me Dee. I didn't know you had an LJ lol

I'm friending you!

Love the fic! so sad, but you wrote it so well!
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[User Picture]From: alley_skywalker
2006-11-13 01:31 am (UTC)
Hey, Dee! I didn't know you had a LJ? I though you said you didn't? Hmmm... LYER! Lol nah. I'm so new to this lol. It does post your comments BTW I just have to unscreen them or reply to them.
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[User Picture]From: ludagurl3d
2006-11-13 08:53 pm (UTC)
LOL I think when I told you that I didn't have an LJ back then. i just got one at the end of the summer I think tee hee! I'm glad you have one too!!
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[User Picture]From: alley_skywalker
2006-11-14 12:08 am (UTC)
Oh yea? Cool then.
Yea I got this one a while ago but didn't like write much or w/e. Yea I think I'm gonna put up some of my social news in here too and just put it under a friends filter. lol.
Oh do you like the blue color this is in? I love the blue color this is in! lol.
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[User Picture]From: ani_harths_obi
2006-11-12 11:53 pm (UTC)

Hello There!

Welcome to Livejournal! (I'm pretty new myself! :)

I loved this story! It's one of those ones that's really short but works. I love the way the ending mirrors the beginning and apart from the odd spelling mistake, this is an all round great fic!

Jedi love!
xxx
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[User Picture]From: alley_skywalker
2006-11-13 01:33 am (UTC)

Re: Hello There!

Thanks :) I love things that come around full circle...sort of my attempt at a lyrical prose...hee!
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[User Picture]From: hyypchick
2006-11-16 09:54 am (UTC)
Hey did I friend you the other day? I'll check, if I didn't I'm going to.

This is beautiful. You have captured a profound sense of loss and hopelessness in realatively few words and the poetic style and nature of this does the fic justice.

And you capture angst with a heartbreaking accuracy, the voice is perfect and the first person POV really adds to the tension and emotion of the fic (sorry for technical analysis, I have a habit of doing that)

and this is your first? I really, really hope this is not your last I want to see lots more AO from you.

you should really have a disclaimer with any fic though, because you don't own the characters, just to cover your own back.

Loved it, let's see what else you can do X
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[User Picture]From: alley_skywalker
2006-11-17 05:47 am (UTC)
Oh it's not my last! And I hope I'll be able to write somehing good like this :) It's the "stick to what you know" method. I've done het angst for a while now so I kinda knew what I was doing here lol.

I love the tech analises! So the more the better lol.

Eep! I knew I forgot something...yea I'll edit and stick that disvlaimer in there.

Thanks for commenting!
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[User Picture]From: temple_mistress
2006-11-16 07:35 pm (UTC)
*channels Obi!voice* Hello, there!

It's so great to see new authors in the fandom and on this comm, thanks for sharing with us!

This is a very well-written angsty little thing! I really enjoyed the style you used--full of emotion, description, and very vividly detailed. I'm a visual writer, so I love it when I see other authors doing it--I love being transported right into the fic simply by being able to "see" it.

Tell me, oh Perfect One, have you ever loved anyone? Have you ever wanted to hold onto some one and never let go? I worshiped you long before I loved you. I loved you long before I needed you. I needed you long before I lost you.

That was a wonderful progression in Anakin's thoughts--sad and poignant and so achy!

Ok, and admittedly, I'm a sucker for Anakin, a lightsabre, and katas so... :D

I do hope you will continue to write more to share with us! Welcome to the fandom!

TM
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[User Picture]From: alley_skywalker
2006-11-17 05:49 am (UTC)
Hey! Don't i know you from fanfiction.bet? I write under Alley parker or Jedi Padawan there. You'r the author of "Do What You Have To Do" right?

I'm glad you like it :) Thanks for the welsome!

And I love Ani with a lightsaber too!
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[User Picture]From: temple_mistress
2006-11-17 02:57 pm (UTC)
I'm one in the same, lol. Good to see you over here--I thought your name seemed familiar, too.

Just KEEP WRITING!!! Our fandom needs a good kick in the pants, and this is a great addition.

*waves*
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[User Picture]From: _______unspoken
2006-11-17 05:33 am (UTC)
My world? It's been rocked. By this fic. I don't know how you can call yourself a newbie to slash and write something so perfect and angsty your first time. I could actually hear my heart breaking at the end there...

*sob*
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[User Picture]From: alley_skywalker
2006-11-17 05:50 am (UTC)
Wow...thanks! I'm so glad you lied it!

Well this was my ver first venture into slash...I sorte stayed in territory that was more familiar to me (AKS angst).
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[User Picture]From: nilhenwen
2007-04-15 12:30 pm (UTC)
hey nice fic I really loved the line:

"No not as the night…for even the night is broken by a sunrise. But there will be no sunrise."

That sort of just sums Anakin's rejection up. It was very beautiful.

Your spelling wasn't brilliant, but the story was =D And who cares? It's the content that's the main thing right? =D
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[User Picture]From: jme24576
2012-04-10 10:49 pm (UTC)
This is such a sad fic! Poor Ani! Please consider doing a sequel to this (I would love to see something done from Obi-wan's POV). I feel so sorry for Anakin! I also wonder if Obi-wan does/ did have romantic feelings for him, but maybe he needed to think things through before coming to the realization? Would love to know about Obi-wan's feelings. Please do a sequel to it? Very well-written!
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